Attracted by the headline, are you? If you are attracted by the headline, I take it for granted that you are in a thankless position of being in love with a friend, probably your best friend. I say thankless only for people who do not enjoy the pleasures of reciprocation in this matter. For those lucky people who have a healthy romantic relation with their best friend, no one is in a more joyous position than them. I think the number of such people fall short when compared to the vast numbers of people who fall in love with their friend and then can neither take a step forward, nor come back and start afresh.
Friendship has always been the base of any stable relationship, even if the relation is that of a parent and child. Love relations bloom best when the couples are each others’ best friends and have the level of comfort that takes them to the next stage; and then subsequently they tide over life’s hurdles, keeping the love and friendship alive in them. But what happens when you fall in love with your friend who loves some one else? Then you are faced with a very peculiar dilemma – on one hand you want your friend to be happy with the person he or she is in love and on the other hand, you want your friend to get that same happiness, but with you.
Then the angel and the demon in you start their conflict. One part of you cannot get over the friendship and move on and the other part of you cannot accept your friend with his or her love and stay a friend. You want to stay by your friend’s side but the moment he or she talks about the greatest happiness of their life that is their love, you feel the pangs of envy. That is when you start hating your friend as well. That is when the friendship suffers. That is when you choke the friendship to bring alive the emotion of love that would not come in the next thousand years.
Your friend looks for your support when he or she has a problem in their love life. But you cannot sympathize genuinely with your friend because you are inwardly happy. You want their relationship to end; you want to step in. What is most amazing is that you are too ashamed to admit it, even to yourself. You stand by the side of your friend, offer your support. Then things turn out well between the lovers and you are back to the dungeons of your dark, shameless self. You are back to being the lonely person that you were.
‘Gracefully depart’ – is what agony-aunts tell you. But you can’t do that. Your love is your life. You can’t hang around; it’s too painful. In this wide spectrum of emotions have you thought of your friend? What he or he might be feeling? Your friend is in no less of a torture. He or she can’t love you; the heart cannot be forced or directed. Your friend needs your support; your friend wants you to accept the love of his or her life. But the adamant you, you do not understand that. You are forcing her to choose. The split will bleed her heart, the heart of the person you love. Were you not ready to set fire to the world before he or she suffered the slightest scratch?
Friendship has always been the base of any stable relationship, even if the relation is that of a parent and child. Love relations bloom best when the couples are each others’ best friends and have the level of comfort that takes them to the next stage; and then subsequently they tide over life’s hurdles, keeping the love and friendship alive in them. But what happens when you fall in love with your friend who loves some one else? Then you are faced with a very peculiar dilemma – on one hand you want your friend to be happy with the person he or she is in love and on the other hand, you want your friend to get that same happiness, but with you.
Then the angel and the demon in you start their conflict. One part of you cannot get over the friendship and move on and the other part of you cannot accept your friend with his or her love and stay a friend. You want to stay by your friend’s side but the moment he or she talks about the greatest happiness of their life that is their love, you feel the pangs of envy. That is when you start hating your friend as well. That is when the friendship suffers. That is when you choke the friendship to bring alive the emotion of love that would not come in the next thousand years.
Your friend looks for your support when he or she has a problem in their love life. But you cannot sympathize genuinely with your friend because you are inwardly happy. You want their relationship to end; you want to step in. What is most amazing is that you are too ashamed to admit it, even to yourself. You stand by the side of your friend, offer your support. Then things turn out well between the lovers and you are back to the dungeons of your dark, shameless self. You are back to being the lonely person that you were.
‘Gracefully depart’ – is what agony-aunts tell you. But you can’t do that. Your love is your life. You can’t hang around; it’s too painful. In this wide spectrum of emotions have you thought of your friend? What he or he might be feeling? Your friend is in no less of a torture. He or she can’t love you; the heart cannot be forced or directed. Your friend needs your support; your friend wants you to accept the love of his or her life. But the adamant you, you do not understand that. You are forcing her to choose. The split will bleed her heart, the heart of the person you love. Were you not ready to set fire to the world before he or she suffered the slightest scratch?
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Dorothy Smith, the author of this article, writes about the events & special occasions. Want to know more about friend’s love or love cards ?Send romantic ecards to your loved ones. Check some other resources .
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